The Axe Effect

We’ve all seen the commercials for Axe, Unilever’s line of scented men’s skin-care products that purports to attract young, lustful women like kittens to catnip. Along with Procter&Gamble’s copy-cat product, Tag, Axe has succeeded in plastering its own advertisements all over television for the last several years, much to the dismay of feminist groups who characterize the ads as sexist.

For as long as I can remember, I thought Axe was a generic, mass-produced, gimmicky product that teenaged boys and young men only flocked to because their cerebral cortexes had not yet evolved enough to understand that “commercials aren’t real.” As it turns out, much to my chagrin, the stuff isn’t bad. While out with a male acquaintance a couple weeks ago, I noticed that he was wearing a delicious-smelling fragrance. When I asked what it was, my heart sank to learn that I was experiencing the “Axe Effect.”

I feel so cheap.

Phrases that ought to be retired, vol 1.

The guys at Oxford can add these to their list.

“Where you at?” – I heard my own grandmother say this, five years ago. It’s no longer hip or fresh, it’s just lame. Thanks Will Smith, or Boost Mobile, or whoever the hell brought this annoying butchered grammar into the mainstream.

“Best(Worst). [Blank]. Ever. ” - tired, overused sentence/punctuation construction. Found all over web forums and the blogosphere. I’ve been guilty of it too, I confess, but I think it’s time to put this one to bed.

So much for commitment to a plan

I really thought that publicly posting my tentative post-graduation plans would help me commit to them (yes, I have been changing my mind about everything almost weekly). Now, immediately after announcing my intent to move to the big city to find work, Thoroughly Modern Millie-style, I’m second-guessing my plan. It’s possible that I’ll stay in MN for a few more months.

Why? Well, a few months ago, I registered for two math classes at MSU for spring semester: Probability and Stats, and Differential Equations. My rationale was that I would need some extra math training if I ever wanted to pursue economics at the graduate level. Now as it turns out, America is in the worst recession in decades, and the job market isn’t particularly hot right now (especially in the free-market nonprofit world). Staying put may be the best option right now. Which means I need to invest in a warmer pair of mittens.

I got my degree; now what?

Please forgive the nonexistent posting as of late. I’m not even going to blame the “hustle and bustle of the holiday season” on this – call it pure sloth, mixed with some anxiety. I graduated three weeks ago, and haven’t done much of anything since, save for some “adventures” with friends on the town, and a few job interviews (all of which I feel went really well, but I know not to get my hopes up). In fact, going on the job market in the midst of the worst recession we’ve seen in decades is giving me a healthy dose of pessimism about my immediate future. Sigh… as much as I’ve lamented missing out on the whole Gen-X era (they may not have had cell phones, but the music was superior), I never wanted my life to mirror Reality Bites. Unless there’s a sexy, brooding Ethan Hawke character involved – mmmm.

McJob: The only thing I can get despite paying £11,000 for a university education (Source: Urban Dictionary).

Unfortunately, I paid more than that (even considering the exchange rate) for my unimpressive university education. Due to circumstances concerning my immediate family, I decided freshman year that my original plan of transferring to a larger, more well-known university wasn’t a good option for me. While I don’t regret that choice, it definitely feels like a setback now that I’m competing for jobs. I’d hoped to be able to land a job doing outreach work somewhere in the Washington D.C. libertarian-nonprofit scene, but I’m feeling skeptical that I’ll find anything now. Regardless, I’ve decided to take a chance and move out there in February for a couple of months to see if I have any luck – if not, then it’s back to MN to study for grad school entrance exams, whee!

By this time next month, I should hopefully be in Washington, either unemployed or working at some crappy coffee shop, living off of my dwindling savings, accruing interest on deferred student loans, and whoring out my resume to anyone who’ll accept it. Or maybe I’ll be an intern (yet again).

Postscript: any DC readers in need of a roommate?