What I’ve Been Reading: Neal Stephenson and Twilight

I just finished Neal Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon, a novel about crytpography, World War II, buried treasure, and electronic currency. The story takes place during two timelines – one follows several characters involved in cryptography for the Allies during WW2, and the other follows a computer programmer and the tech startup he’s involved in during the late 1990s.

Some thoughts:

• The protagonist from the modern timeline felt so much like an Mary Sue avatar for the author that I wanted to punch him (and by extension, Neal Stephenson) in the face. Not for being a transparent conduit for the author’s thoughts necessarily, but for being modeled on a type of real-world personality that I found just grating as a main character: the socially-awkward computer programmer with an obnoxious obsession with details and a complete inability to understand women…
• …Or I should say “complete inability to understand a woman.” That there are few female characters in a story about the 1990s telecom industry isn’t a huge deal to me, and Stephenson has written at least one line* that proves to me that he’s cognizant of real-world sexism. In fact, many of his characters, both male and female, bleed together and are only differentiable by their names. I just find it far-fetched that the manic-pixie-dream-girl love interest
  • actually returns the affections of the main protagonist
  • not only returns them, but temporarily goes bat-shit crazy when she thinks she might be getting led on.
  • is strongly hinted to still be a virgin in her (presumably) late 20s or 30s
• The ending feels rushed and flat. A bunch of loose threads get tied up and connections are made between the two timelines with very little revelatory fanfare, an antagonist is killed off in a most unbelievable way, nothing happens for a couple of pages, and then boom, it’s over. No aftermath, no “happily ever after.” It just ends.
• I would have liked to see the themes regarding electronic, gold-backed currency, modern day government surveillance, and “holocaust avoidance” expanded upon more. The digital currency part especially piqued my interest since the BitCoin craze happened while I took a multi-month hiatus from this book.

Currently, I’m reading the first Twilight book. I starting reading out of curiosity (I’ve heard it’s pretty bad, but I wanted to see for myself), but an hour later, I realized I was already 50 pages in. My opinion so far:

• The writing is bad. Terrible, really. The narrative structure is one in which Stephenie Meyer literally describes day after day of Bella’s life. “I woke up…” “I walked down the stairs…” “I got in my car…” “I walked to class…” “I saw Edward…”
• I’m entertained by how wonderful, beautiful, amazing, ethereal, charming Edward is described as being, for a couple of reasons. First, it’s an interesting subversion of the common treatment of female leads in pop culture as being little more than pure beauty, physically realized. Second, because being around an unnaturally attractive man who displays high levels of social acuity and who seems to take an interest in you can be absolutely nerve-wracking. He’s handsome, suave, confident, and intimidating to the average insecure 17-year-old. He’s out of Bella’s league, and she knows it.
• That said, Edward Cullen is a complete asshole.
  • Anytime Bella is justifiably angry or frustrated with him, he dismisses her anger by telling her she’s being “weird” or “moody.” This is a warning sign that he’s at best an insensitive jerk, and at worst an abuser.
  • He never explains his coquettish, hot-and-cold behavior toward Bella, other than through intentionally abstruse comments meant to make him seem mysterious. In real life, if a guy says something like “you should stay away from me. For your own good” after he’s invited you to lunch, it means he’s trying very hard - and very transparently – to make you think that he’s enigmatic or dangerous. (I’ve seen this done as a sort of PUA tactic in real life – needless to say, that guy was a tool, and his game was weak sauce).
• Frustration: If I’m going read schlocky, poorly-written romance, I at least want some friggin steam in it, for crying out loud.

All that's missing is a ribbon tied around one wrist to hide the scars... of adolescence.

I’m not sure if I’ll finish Twilight or not, but I’m thinking about what’s next. My top choices include John Dies at the End, God Emperor of Dune, Catch-22, Neuromancer, or another few chapters in House of Leaves (I pick that book up every few years, read 50 or so pages, then abandon it, frustrated with the outrageous typesetting and the fact that the story still doesn’t seem to be going anywhere). Of course, I’m open to suggestions.

*”It was, of course, nothing more than sexism, the especially virulent type espoused by male techies who sincerely believe that they are too smart to be sexists.” – from Snow Crash